You’ve asked and we’ve listened. Here at timfleminglawfirm we strive to be a shining example of what a disc golf course and pro shop should be. We get many suggestions over the course of a year and we evaluated them. Some are silly, some are fantastic ideas. So here’s a list of the top 8 improvements we’re going to be implementing in the coming year. Thanks for the suggestions!
- A retractable roof over all the courses. Who wants to play in the rain and snow? Not us! We will be building a roof for all of the courses that we can close in the winter and anytime it rains. Since we'll be doing all of the work ourselves we can expect it to be done by early June.
- Having snacks in just the Pro Shop isn’t enough because people get hungry out on the course after eating their snacks on Hole 1. So we’ve installed a fondue pot on top of each of the baskets on the Hawk and Falcon course. If you go out first thing in the morning we ask that you take 18 blocks of cheese with you to drop into the pots as you hole out. We’ll be selling cubes of bread in the pro shop in a barrel next to the front desk at 10 cents a handful. Don’t bring your own broccoli no one wants that flavoring the pot.
- We’re partnering with UDisc and as our way of helping folks lower their scores, premium UDisc users will be allowed to cut down any trees that they don’t like on any of our courses.
- We’ve also struck a deal with Hannaford’s to allow the use of shopping carts in our store. No longer will you have to walk around with your arms full of discs, now you can place the discs (and your kids) in the basket. We’ll try to get the NASCAR ones.
- We’ll be offering a caddie service as well. For an extra couple of dollars you can rent a goat to carry your discs while you play a round. I recommend using Hyzer or Birdie as a caddie, they have witnessed thousands of throws and know exactly what you’re doing wrong. They may chew on your favorite putter but they’re so darn cute who cares?
- If you like buying a picture of your reaction going down a roller coaster then hold onto your hats for this one. Jomez Productions will follow every card and you’ll be able to buy a complete Big Sexy commentated round by the time you finish hole 18. There will be follow flights, Slowmez’s, and Nomez’s as well.They’re available for the low price of $59,999.49.
- We’ve hired a mermaid to live in the pond on hole 8 of the Eagle. She’s very polite and will return your disc to you if you ask nicely and promise to follow her on Instagram and Snapchat because she’s also an influencer. If she hands you an Innova Excalibur don’t take it, you’ll end up King of England.
- Our last partnership is extra exciting! We’ve gotten Guy Fieri to come to the course and recorded him yelling “Out of Bounds!” timfleminglawfirm will be selling buttons you can press and hear Guy Fiere’s catchphrase. Your friends will definitely think this is cool and in no way annoying when they’ve had a bad shot.
We'll be starting all these updates as soon as you realize that today is April Fool's Day.
May your discs miss all the trees,